One of the hardest feelings to shake is believing that you’re behind in your goals. You can be doing a lot of things right and still feel like the progress you want is out of reach.

These thoughts can leave you feeling frustrated and impatient, while also being exhausted in a way that makes you not want to do anything. Feeling behind creates a sense of urgency, as if you need to catch up to a certain point as soon as possible. But the fact is, that feeling can stick around for a long time, and it’s hard to know if things are getting better at all.

Reflecting on it, there are usually things we could be doing differently. We could try harder to save money in certain areas, and work to earn more as well. We could cut out some less essential spending. And yet it’s easy to drag our feet. A big part of us is afraid that it won’t make a difference. What if we try our hardest, and we’re still behind? That would make us feel so foolish, and even farther behind.

The fear of feeling behind and being embarrassed in some way is really all in our heads. If you spoke to a friend or a mentor, they would most likely have empathy and compassion for your efforts to make things better. It’s not them we’re afraid of, really; it’s the voice inside our own heads that judges us so harshly. I’m sure many of you can relate to this sense of being behind and how discouraging it can be when you’re not making the progress you want, or when you’re afraid of failing.

I can’t claim to have solved this mindset once and for all, but there is one thing that helps. Name the feeling of being behind, and think about it as something separate from yourself. It’s a mindset trap, and you can choose not to walk into it. In those moments when you typically feel behind, pause to remember this truth, and then get back to whatever needs done next. It’s simple, but it can help in surprising ways.

Here are a few mindset shifts that can help:

1. Understand that feelings of being behind often stem from comparing yourself to others. In our consumer-driven culture, it’s all too easy to see what others have and feel like you should be on the same level. This mindset can be toxic because it leads to unrealistic expectations and dissatisfaction with your current situation.

2. Realize that you are in control of your money and your life. Feelings of being behind can make you feel powerless, as if you’re at the mercy of forces beyond your control. But the truth is, you have the power to change your situation. You can make a budget, cut expenses, increase your income, and take steps to improve your financial situation. It’s up to you, and taking control can be empowering.

3. Help other people and connect with them. My wife and I have had different seasons in our marriage when we had to watch our spending closely. When you’re trying to become more frugal, it’s easy to turn inward and become focused only on your needs and goals. One way to counteract this is to make sure you are spending time sharing your life with others and helping them. This keeps you grounded in what really matters and renews your energy.

4. Success is a journey, and it’s rarely a straight line. One of the most common reasons for feeling behind is the belief that success should be quick and easy. This is often fueled by social media, which tends to showcase the highlights of people’s lives and not the struggle it took to get there. The reality is that success, whether it’s financial or otherwise, is a journey full of ups and downs. It’s important to be patient, stay the course, and not compare your journey to someone else’s.

5. Focus on progress, not perfection. One of the reasons people feel behind with their money is that they focus on how far they have to go, rather than how far they’ve come. This mindset can make you feel like your efforts are never enough, even when you are making progress. It’s important to celebrate your wins and remind yourself of the progress you’re making. This will boost your morale and remind you that you are indeed moving forward.

6. Write out how you feel. One of the most helpful things you can do when you’re feeling discouraged is to write out exactly how you feel. Be long winded, and say exactly what you’re feeling in that moment, no matter how ungrateful or self-centered it makes you feel. Then set the piece of paper aside, and come back the next day with fresh eyes. You’ll probably see that what you wrote is evidence of what you were thinking, not the truth itself. This kind of journaling can be a useful tool for stepping into a better mindset.